• Life Picturesque

    World is Surrounded by Narcissist

    This topic has come up on my mind because I felt like I was a narcissist. Not really sure if I am now but I know that I am a lot better than before. Maybe there is a little of it in every person’s life. First of all what is a narcissist?
    This is an extreme way of defining it.
    Narcissists victimize those around them just by just being who they are, and they won’t change. That statement may seem extreme, until you listen to the stories of those who have been victimized by a narcissist. Then you realize just how toxic relationships with these individuals can be. – Source Link
    How Narcissists See Themselves
    1. I love myself, and I know you do, too. In fact, everyone does. I can’t imagine anyone who doesn’t.
    2. I have no need to apologize. You, however, must understand, accept, and tolerate me no matter what I do or say.
    3. I have few equals in this world, and so far, I have yet to meet one. I am the best _______ (manager, businessman, lover, student, etc.).
    4. Most people don’t measure up. Without me to lead, others would flounder.
    5. I appreciate that there are rules and obligations, but those apply mostly to you, because I don’t have the time or the inclination to abide by them. Besides, rules are for the average person, and I am far above average.
    6. I hope you appreciate all that I am and everything that I have achieved for you — because I am wonderful and faultless.
    7. I do wish we could be equals, but we are not and never will be. I will remind you with unapologetic frequency that I am the smartest person in the room and how well I did in school, in business, as a parent, etc. — and you must be grateful.
    8. I may seem arrogant and haughty, and that’s OK with me; I just don’t want to be seen as being like you.
    9. I expect you to be loyal to me at all times, no matter what I do. However, don’t expect me to be loyal to you in any way.
    10. I will criticize you, and expect you to accept it, but if you criticize me, especially in public, I will come at you with rage. One more thing: I will never forget or forgive, and I will pay you back one way or another — I am a “wound collector.”
    11. I expect you to be interested in what I have achieved and what I have to say. I, on the other hand, am not at all interested in you or what you have achieved, so don’t expect much curiosity or interest from me about your life. I just don’t care.
    12. I am not manipulative; I just like to have things done my way, no matter how much it inconveniences others, or how it makes them feel. I don’t care how others feel — feelings are for the weak.
    13. I expect gratitude at all times, for even the smallest things I do. As for you, I expect you to do as I ask.
    14. I only associate with the best people, and frankly, most of your friends don’t measure up.
    15. If you would just do what I say, things would be better.
    As you can imagine, it is not easy living with or working with someone who thinks or behaves this way. The experience of those who have done so teaches us the following (and if you remember nothing else from this post, remember this): Narcissists overvalue themselves and devalue others, and that means you. You will never be treated as an equal, you will never be respected, and you will in time be devalued out of necessity, so that they can overvalue themselves.

    I know people who are narcissist. I lived with one in my entire life. She is the one that caused me stress. I almost called myself mentally ill. I almost killed myself because of her, but I have put it to the past and I have moved on.
    This narcissist character though, if it is already build in a character it is hard to change especially people that’s already older.
    This character can be changed through time. For me I search for God and from there I could build a more positive character.
    The narcissist topic leads me to another topic — emotions and social media — private life? I am an expressionist, meaning I love to share my experience, my feelings to something. Most people would pour it out to social media (including me), but is it safe? Is it a have too? Is it good? Will discuss it in my next post! 😉
    ~to be continued


  • Life Picturesque,  Thoughts for Life

    Self-Centered or Narcissist? Can I be Honest?

    I found this site about a self-centered person or narcissist. So in the site it says that there are 4 ways to tell. Focus on self, empathy, grandiosity and breaking rules. I am one of those 4; grandiosity.
    Self-centered people crave attention from others, and can reliably find a way to talk about themselves when they begin to feel neglected and unimportant. In conversations, they may talk too much about themselves, but they can also actually listen to others.
    It is true I craved attention from others (can be my closest friend to random people), I also find a way to talk about myself when I begin to feel neglected and unimportant. I do talk about myself but I also listen to others. I like to listen and observe other people’s stories. Knowing what their problems are can add up to my experience in life. I like to give advises to my friends too. That is why I like psychology so much. I know one thing though from a friend with a psychology degree that psychologist doesn’t give a an end solution but gives options to their patients. Our problems, our decisions always ends with us.
    I remembered  I always tell my problems to random people. Sometimes it’s because I am desperate and I really don’t know what to do. I cannot talk to my parents about my problems. I can rely to God but I need to communicate and see other people visions how they will solve if they were me.

  • Life Picturesque,  Thoughts for Life

    Do not Judge

    Do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on. – http://livelifehappy.com/

    After what had happened to me these few months. The story that I never told in my blog. I don’t tell stories anymore to random people. I am honestly easy to get to know with but now I am closing up to new people or friends that aren’t really close. I felt that I was a dramatic person with a complicated life. So I don’t think people need to know about it. I want to keep it to myself and people that are close to me.
    I am coming to this topic “do not judge” because I feel that some people are like judging me and questioning me on my back. They might have concerned about me or just want to have a gossip topic. Well, they did not know what I have been through so I don’t really care.
    I myself is a person who likes to judge. LOL. Not judge to be exact but more like observe. Like for example there is this one guy. He is kind but people don’t like him because of his attitude. His bad attitudes were like saying something that isn’t true, the gossip was he always targets a new female friend to be his GF, he says things like he wanted to be with a woman that have money. Honestly I knew things from gossip and I don’t really know what he was actually doing, was it really that bad that people hated him? I think yes he was desperate to find a GF but I don’t really know that what the gossip sayings are true or not. So I can’t really judge from that. Also when I observe people I would wonder what their backgrounds were like. Maybe he had a harsh childhood, or something that made him like this today. Me myself doesn’t come from a peaceful childhood so I can’t really believe and judge he is bad until I have real proof. Long story short, I guess he finds out that many people doesn’t like him and from his status I could see that he can’t really trust people anymore. It is sad actually and from what I heard, people already talked to him about his bad attitudes but they said that he is hard to change.
    I believe that every people have their own stories and problems that we actually don’t know. Sometimes we judge without knowing what are their backgrounds or what they had been through in life.

  • Life Picturesque,  Thoughts for Life

    Blaming Your Family

    The past cannot be changed, the future is shaped by our current thinking. It is imperative for our freedom to understand that our parents were doing the best they could with the understanding awareness and knowledge they had. Whenever we blame someone else, we are not taking responsibility for ourselves.
    Those people who did all those terrible things to us were just as frightened and scared as you are. They felt just the same helplessness as you do. The only things they could possible teach you are what they had been taught.

    ~taken from a book called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay
    This is my current issue. I know that I should stop blaming them (especially my mom) but it is hard. I know she had provided for me but you know, I have lived with her my entire life and there are so much pain that she had caused me. I am coming through a process which I try not to blame her anymore.
    So in the book also asked, did you know about your parents pasts? Honestly I thought about it quite a lot. I know that her dad was a gambler and a cheater (I think she hated him and my own grandpa even doesn’t know me). I know she lived a hard life and worked hard her entire life because she lived poorly and always said to me that she don’t want to be like my grandma (weak and doesn’t have money). Then she had to overcome a divorce when I was in my middle school. I just knew that my dad had often cheated on her. I was closer to my dad before and I did not know that he was that kind of person. She had been through a lot in her life…it effects me too, it effects the way she educates me. I never failed at school, but I wasn’t good at it either. My mom doesn’t really care about my grades I did not know why…I wish she were because I wanted to study more when I graduated from my first bachelor degree. (She always wanted me to get married don’t know why–probably because of my family surroundings).
    You know when she did and said those mean things to me I always thought maybe I’m not her child or maybe I reminds her of my dad. I don’t know maybe I had this resemblance of him? It doesn’t really matter to me anymore. I grew to be a stronger woman now. I mean these things made my eyes open about the different aspects of life. However, my step-father is more to a supportive father, he often tells me to do what I like in life (instead to always listens to my mother) but I never took it seriously because I feel that my mom is more dominate and it was my fault. He even concerned when I was in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a job and still depends on mommy’s money. Well…
    To conclude this topic, yes parents gave a great impact of what you become; but remember that after you graduated from high school or maybe university you have a freedom and the right to choose what you like to do in your life. Even though you will still need their direction, it is still your choice of what you want to be.