Posted at 12:19 pm , on November 6, 2017
I had been pending this post for a while. Did not know whether I should post it or not, but I just wanted to share my feelings towards a quite crucial event that happened to me in the past.
I don’t really know about his past. All I know he had loving parents (my grandparents). I was closer to him yes I did but after 6 months they divorce he never comes up in my life again. I was too young to know about these things. It did not matter to me as much if I did not meet him at all before. It effects me when I have grown older. So when I was 19 I tried to contact him through my cousin from his side. I did not know why I wanted to contact him that time. My cousin gave me his BlackBerry pin. I tried adding him but he declined. I asked my cousin and he said the reason was that my dad was afraid he would be reminded of my mother. What kind of bullshit reason was that. Well I thought maybe my step-mother doesn’t allow him to contact me. I was sad before but now I just don’t really care anymore. I do think about him sometimes, because he is still my biological parent and he is still there in my memories. I just want to know what was all his reasons for doing this to me. Though it doesn’t really affect me at all now.
Divorce. You can divorce your spouse but you can’t divorce your children. Remember that 🙂
Posted at 6:25 am , on September 4, 2017
Whatever it was.
I remembered when I first saw you.
I remembered the letters that we wrote to each other.
It’s not like we live in ancient era that we decided to wrote those letters.
It was because we were in love and we think it was romantic (was it? is it still?)
It was beautiful.
Until I know. That you locked me inside an invincible room.
I couldn’t be with my friends. I did not have freedom.
I loved you until you made me disappointed.
Posted at 5:00 pm , on August 10, 2017
I remembered when I woke up hearing the sound of the sewing machine running loud outside the room. I was in…my aunt’s house in Semarang. It was noon, I went outside seeing people had already on their own sewing places. I walked to the side of the table seeing a brown cup of tea with a little sprinkles of sugar especially prepared for me. I drank it. Someone offered me a plate of fried rice, oh or it was a fried chicken? I think I remembered the wrong day, but I know both of them were delicious. Oh! Something tickles my legs. Seemed that the pet has become fond of me. He is so black that you can only see his eyes.
I had finished my lunch, I walked through the fridge, I searched for my ice cream. I took it and ate it. It gets me addicted that I wanted more…it was…cookies and cream flavour.
“Sasa.” They used to call me. We had plans to swim today so I prepared some stuffs and go to the swimming place. The other side of the swimming pool was too deep for me to go so I used to just reached 1/3 of the pool.
It was dinner time, we went to a place called Danti’s Steak and we ate steak. I used to eat “steak lidah” back then. After that we went downstairs and I remembered that I have eaten all my ice creams so I wanted to buy again. We bought some cakes too. We went home.
At home they asked me to join them to the roof to see stars. I was so scared of going up because it wasn’t an easy path for me, but I went there eventually. It’s almost midnight. We went downstairs and play some PlayStation games. What was that game? Was it Final Fantasy VIII or Harvest Moon? It’s late already so we went to bed.