Am I a naive person? All these years seeking for happiness that never comes—No, actually it did for awhile. Well we can’t really hoped for a perfect life right? Though on my previous posts I said that I am quite thankful that problems came to me cause if not maybe I wouldn’t have a religion, I wouldn’t know God. Problems are tests whether we stayed or we go. There is one thing I am sure of is that I believe that good things are coming my way. Maybe not now but later on.
I have been a Christian for 8 years and there are those times where it was “On and Off”. I really tried hard to commit but it seems that I didn’t know how before. There are some happy times where I just forget about Church, the bible, times where I don’t talk to God, but when I have problems, I always return to Him. So these 2 years I decided that when I am ready I will commit. These few months I had started to commit to God again.
“All these years seeking for happiness that never comes—No, actually it did for awhile.” I ever felt like there are these phases of my life when I thought I finally got my happiness, but that happiness just became problems in the end. The cause. The cause is that I focus on that happiness until I forgot logic. For example, when I am happy in a relationship and after a while I knew that the future was a blur and I still go on with it. These are the most mistakes I made in my life. Well it is quite hard for me cause of what I will say below.
I have this thirst and hunger of being loved. I became a quite self-centered person “the grandiosity” type and a lot of times I asked myself “why have I become this person?” Yes my pasts and my family are part of it, but I am the cause. Maybe if I am strong enough or know what I wanted from the start I wouldn’t become this person. I do have regrets but we can’t change anything do we? I really don’t have the answer to this question but I believe there will be a way for every problems in every single one of us if we have faith. Don’t give up!