• Life Picturesque,  TV Series & Movie Junkie

    Robin Schulz, David Guetta, Cheat Codes – Shed a Light

    I know it’s not a new song but I recently knew about it and it kinda gives me inspiration on writing about something o(≧∇≦o)

    Why are you keeping me at a distance?
    All that I’m asking for is forgiveness
    Are you even listening? Am I talking to myself again?
    I keep on staring up at the ceiling
    Waiting for you to give me some kind of reason
    Are you even listening? Am I talking to myself again?
    And I know you don’t owe me your love
    And I know that you don’t owe me nothing at all
    Ain’t no way I’m giving up on you
    Don’t leave me here in the dark when it’s hard to see
    Show me your heart, shed a light on me
    If you love me, say so, if you love me say so
    You know I can’t live without you, I’m on my knees
    Where are you now? Shed a light on me
    If you love me, say so, if you love me say so
    Why when I call, you never answer?
    I’ll try to talk, you keep on dancing
    I can feel you on my skin, but am I only dancing with the wind?
    And I know you don’t owe me your love
    And I know that you don’t owe me nothing at all
    Ain’t no way I’m giving up on you
    Don’t leave me here in the dark when it’s hard to see
    Show me your heart, shed a light on me
    If you love me, say so, if you love me say so
    If you love me, say something
    You know I can’t live without you, I’m on my knees
    Where are you now? Shed a light on me
    If you love me, say so, if you love me say so
    Shed a light, shed a light on me
    Shed a light, shed a light on me
    Don’t leave me here in the dark when it’s hard to see
    Show me your heart, shed a light on me
    If you love me, say so, if you love me say so
  • Life Picturesque,  Thoughts for Life

    Be Kind and Considerate

    (related discussion to my previous post about the song)
    Who cares if one more light goes out
    In the sky of a million stars?
    It flickers, flickers.
    Who cares when someone’s time runs out
    If a moment is all we are?
    Or quicker, quicker
    Who cares if one more light goes out?
    Well, I do.
    _____
    To be honest I am the type of person who is considerate to other people. No matter where the person comes from (either friends from game or real life). I’m just the type that cannot not considerate. I don’t want other people to feel bad for what I not purposely did to them. There is a “but” though. If that person isn’t considerate it is hard for me to be either.
    To me and Chester maybe it meant in a different way (cause this song is a tribute to his friend that has passed away Chris Cornell).
    To me this song meant if someone is down or someone is in a need of help and they felt that there’s no one that cares, believe me I care even-though I don’t know you. I have been through rough times, so I know how it felt to be lonely, unwanted and to close up to people. 
    I sometimes don’t understand people who doesn’t think about other people. Maybe they lack of communication, or too spoiled. I had some people in my life who says for what we are doing something good to that person/people we don’t get benefit from it. Honestly, they are not wrong but sometimes helping them will make me feel good if the reason makes sense.
    Know what counts and what doesn’t.

    Being here counts. Being kind and considerate counts. Getting through each day without offending anyone or hurting anyone counts.

    ~Rules of Life second edition by Richard Templar 

  • Life Picturesque

    One More Light; Linkin Park

    This song made me both sad and peaceful.
    Should’ve stayed. Were there signs I ignored?
    Can I help you not to hurt anymore?
    We saw brilliance when the world was asleep.
    There are things that we can have but can’t keep.
    If they say,
    Who cares if one more light goes out
    In the sky of a million stars?
    It flickers, flickers.
    Who cares when someone’s time runs out
    If a moment is all we are?
    Or quicker, quicker.
    Who cares if one more light goes out?
    Well, I do.The reminders pull the floor from your feet.
    In the kitchen one more chair than you need.
    Oh.
    And you’re angry, and you should be, it’s not fair.
    Just ’cause you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.If they say,
    Who cares if one more light goes out
    In the sky of a million stars?
    It flickers, flickers.
    Who cares when someone’s time runs out
    If a moment is all we are?
    Or quicker, quicker
    Who cares if one more light goes out?
    Well, I do.
    Who cares if one more light goes out
    In the sky of a million stars?
    It flickers, flickers.
    Who cares when someone’s time runs out
    If a moment is all we are?
    Or quicker, quicker.
    Who cares if one more light goes out?
    Well, I do.
    Well, I do.
  • Life Picturesque,  Thoughts for Life

    Tiny bits of ME VS Chester Bennington

    I am currently at Semarang right now. I had finally did a consultation with my grandma and my aunt for my problems. I feel that I can talk to them more than my parents ;_; or I guess the most closest people are the most far for some people. My grandma and aunt told me something that I really wanted to hear. One of it is going to school again. I mean, university. I had always loved psychology and I wanted to study psychology since I graduated from my first bachelor degree.
    I’m going to discuss a bit about parenting here. First of all, I don’t have the backgrounds and true knowledge of the things I said but it has to do with common people thinking.
    So I always felt that I don’t really have good parents. They do love me I know. It’s just their way of doing it is wrong. My mom and biological dad has been divorced since I was in middle school. I used to be closer to my biological dad but after 6 months they had been divorced I feel like I have been dumped by him. I am not sure whether my mom pays him not to see him anymore or is it really him and his new wife that has problem with having me. I didn’t really care back then.
    Living just with my mom is really hard. I often got stressed and I feel so unloved. She cannot love me the way I want to be loved. She thinks I feel loved just by her providing for me, giving me things that I did not ask…but when I really want something she doesn’t give.
    I had my first nervous breakdown when I was in university. I was 19. I had a stupid fight with my mom. Wanting her to understand me but she never thinks about other people, the important thing is she is always right. When she came in my room I suddenly shouted real hard. Without saying any words. Just shout. I asked for help to my cousin and my other aunt but they not seemed to care so I stopped depending with my family. I just want to feel loved until and I feel that when I got attention from other people. I got in bad past relationships because I can’t really choose a good partner. My mom only cares for me to have a boyfriend and get married soon. I…was never ready to get married, but I really want to get out of this house. So I finally tried to follow what she wants. I never get a long lasting relationship because I cannot think clearly what is best for me. I never think about the future until now. I have no vision. I was a lost child. Ok let’s stop here first. I will post about my life more in the future.
    I am actually grateful that all these this happens to me because at the end it inspires me. It gives me inspirations to write. It gives me the will to help people that are having problems like me or even worse.
    I have an example. Chester Bennington. He is the lead singer in Linkin Park. It was my favorite band during my school year. Chester had a bad past. Here’s a link to his story Click Here. His problems was in the past but he still struggles with his life after he already became famous. I don’t really know about the details but he ended his life by doing suicide. In Christian it’s really an awful thing to do. You will go to hell for that. What I want to discuss though, I really admire his works, his songs really inspires me, but why? Why he ended his life? Maybe he is not that close to God. Maybe he did not pray enough. I think one of his songs called Heavy really reflect that he is having problems.

    I’m holding on
    Why is everything so heavy?
    Holding on
    So much more than I can carry
    I keep dragging around what’s bringing me down
    If I just let go, I’d be set free
    Holding on
    Why is everything so heavy?
    I am a Christian but I still often thinks about suicide. I think you cannot avoid suicide thinking if you have been through problems like me or Chester. I cannot compare my problems to him though because my pasts wasn’t as traumatic as him. I’m actually really sad that he decides to end his life because I always loved his songs. If I can talk or convince him before he suicide, I really want to do that.

    If they say
    Who cares if one more light goes out?
    In the sky of a million stars
    It flickers, flickers
    Who cares when someone’s time runs out?
    If a moment is all we are
    Or quicker, quicker
    Who cares if one more light goes out?
    Well I do